Oh, What A Tangled Web

Remember Fourth-Choice U?

Well, I didn't tell Prof. Mom (who wrote a reference letter for me) that I declined their campus visit invitation.

Last weekend, Prof. Mom gave a paper at a conference attended by some profs from Fourth-Choice U. She learned from them that I had withdrawn from their search, but suggested to them that I was still on the market, so one of the search committee members emailed me last weekend inquiring about my job search. (I still haven't replied.)

Apparently, I was their top candidate and these committee members are still disappointed that I withdrew from their search.

Prof. Mom has my best interests at heart. She thinks that I would be a good fit at this school. But I just don't have the heart (or the nerve) to tell her that my values and Fourth-Choice U's values actually don't match.

I'm convinced that withdrawing from their search was the right thing to do. And the idea of having Prof. Snarky as my colleague still turns my stomach.

But when I'm faced with the prospect of having to tell Advisor that I've failed to land a TT job again, and when I consider what it will be like to be on the job market for another year, ...

... Fourth-Choice U doesn't really seem all that bad.