As If a Campus Visit Isn't Stressful Enough

So, I leave for my campus visit at First-Choice U next Sunday. The visit will take two days (Monday-Tuesday) and then I'll return to SmallTown on Wednesday.

I received my itinerary yesterday.

I'm quite excited about the hotel at which I'll be staying. The rooms all overlook water. A continental breakfast is included, which means that I don't have to make small talk over breakfast with prospective colleagues. And my plan for Tuesday evening is to do nothing but drink tea (made with the in-room coffee/tea maker) and watch TV (on the 42" plasma TV).

The teaching and research demos were expected.

The number of administrative interviews that are scheduled is a bit on the high side: department, department chair, HR, dean, provost, and president (why the heck do I need to meet the president?).

But what is causing the greatest degree of stress is the dinner that is scheduled with three department members on Monday evening at a relatively classy restaurant (entrees range from $18-28).

Why?

Because there isn't anything on the restaurant's menu that is both recognizable to me and easily eaten in polite company.

My typical strategy at business-related meals is to order a short-cut pasta (penne, for instance) because it is easily eaten. But the only pasta on the menu is linguine. And that is just a disaster waiting to happen.

And as much as I love shrimp and oysters, all shellfish is out of the question because I don't know how to eat it without using my fingers.

And since finger foods are out of bounds, the burgers must be ruled out, too.

Which only leaves 8 to 10 oz. steaks. But under interview circumstances, I don't think that I could finish more than 4 oz. And leaving half a steak on my plate might strike a faculty member as wasteful.

I do appreciate that First-Choice U is making this effort for me. Not every school would take a candidate to such a nice restaurant.

But I really don't need this kind of stress.