On Ambivalence

Those of you who have known me from "way back when" will know that I've been putting myself through grad school by working 15-20 hours/week at an office.

What none of you will know is that I have grown to detest working there. The clients are increasingly obnoxious and demanding (they routinely yell and swear at me when not catered to) and the incessant phone-ringing has resulted in nightmares.

I took the opportunity to do something I love (teaching the Theological Treatise) as my opportunity to quit something I don't love. Thus, the first weekend of September will likely be my last at the office (contingent upon my boss finding a replacment for me).

Now that I can count the number of working days left on my fingers, however, I find that I feel some regret about leaving.

The boss asks a lot of me, but she also treats me very well. I've always worked weekends and don't quite know what to do with these no-longer-occupied days. And while most of the clients are great pains, there are a handful who always make it a point to ask about the progress of my studies.

I didn't expect to feel any regret about leaving, so my current state of ambivalence is a bit baffling to me.

Perhaps I'll feel differently after I turn in my office keys.