It Ain't Over 'Til Advisor Says It's Over

I thought that my final revision run-through would take three days. It didn't.

After slightly revising all of the chapters, writing the epilogue, working through the excerpts of texts in foreign languages with a fine-tooth comb, and checking, re-checking, and triple-checking 478 footnotes, five whole days had passed.

But the important thing is that I submitted The Whole Dissertation (complete with title page, table of contents, tables, figures, and bibliography) to Advisor late yesterday afternoon.

I thought that completing The Dissertation would bring a sense of fulfillment. Or happiness. Or some emotion in the happy zone.

Instead, I've been feeling rather lost all day.

There's a sense of sadness, I suppose. For all intents and purposes, I've been working on this problem since 2004 and submitting The Diss is, in a sense, the end of this project. Yes, I already have ideas and plans to develop more nuanced solutions to this problem. But this phase of my academic life is coming to an end. I will never be a grad student ever again.

There's also the anxiety of associated with my need to defend pre-September 1. (Umm, let's just leave it at that.)

But most all, I suppose, is nervousness as I wait to hear from Advisor. Advisor will only give me permission to submit The Diss if he thinks that it's ready for defense. So, waiting to hear from him has been nerve-wracking. (I'm ashamed to confess that I've been checking my email every half-hour all day.)

But there's nothing that I can do hurry him.

And so I wait.