Bad Things Come in Three's

So, I submitted my final grades on Monday.

Day 1: Tuesday
I received a phone call from a Very Angry Parent. Livid rage that could not be interrupted for the first two minutes. And so loud that I had to hold the receiver several inches away from my ear.

VAP demanded to know how it was that hir child (Student 1) had barely passed my course, particularly when that child had been submitting all of the assignments and earning 90%+ on each. (Student 1 had NOT been submitting the assignments and those that had been submitted had received barely passing grades.)

Legally, however, I am only allowed to discuss a student's performance with that student, unless I have received written permission from the student. And when I informed VAP that I could not discuss the situation with anyone but the student, I got yelled at: "Doesn't the college know that it's the parents who are paying $40,000 a year?!?!"

I opted not to inform VAP that this was a national, not a college, policy.

Then I gently stated that I would certainly be happy to discuss the situation with the student. And then I got yelled at some more: hir child has an athletic scholarship that requires hir to attend practice and therefore hir child could never come to my office before 5 p.m.

I opted to inform VAP that I would be working in my office until 6 p.m. and if Student 1 could arrive by 5:30 p.m., I was sure that the situation could be sorted out.

Student 1 arrived at 6:12 p.m. and I had dinner plans at 6:15 p.m., so I asked the student to return Wednesday morning at 9:45 a.m.

Last night, I had nightmares that I received raging phone calls from the other parent of Student 1.

Day 2: Wednesday
9:45 a.m.: I met with Student 1, showed hir the final exam on which s/he had earned 20% and encouraged hir (for the umpteenth time since last September) to visit the writing center because hir writing skills needed work.

12:30 p.m.: I met with Student 2, who plagiarized from Big Website. I explained that I was bound to assign a grade of zero and report the incident to the academic dean.

Student 2 started to cry, began to have trouble breathing, sobbed that this was the first time that s/he had ever failed a course, and explained between hiccups that s/he didn't know what "footnote" meant and that was why s/he hadn't properly acknowledged the source.

Day 3: Thursday
I have a meeting with Student 3 tomorrow, who also plagiarized from Big Website.

I have no idea what to expect from hir. But as one of hir parents is a shepherd of a flock, I can't imagine that this conversation will be easy.

*deep sigh*

I love teaching. Really, I do.

But on days like these, I wish that I loved something different.