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Dear Professor Nominator,

To be clear, I have never met you and you have never met me. Our only interaction took place last December when you invited me to be on a panel that would discuss reading the Good Book from an ethnic perspective, a topic that I know nothing about and have no interest in.

As you will surely recall, I politely declined your (poorly written) invitation. So, I can't imagine what possessed you to nominate me to attend a five-day colloquium that will discuss the same topic as the panel that I declined.

Admittedly, it's the first time that I've been invited to attend any professional function that will also pay for my room and board. But I would still have to pay for my travel to the colloquium (about $500) and the dates of the colloquium conflict with the dates of Small Society's Annual Meeting (which, as a result of being a member of the executive, I must attend).

But even if my travel was paid for and I was free to attend, I still would not attend this colloquium.

I understand that you have chosen to specialize in ethnic perspectives of the Good Book. But I have very deliberately chosen not to embrace or to engage in research in this sub-field.

This type of research may be important to you, but it is not important to me.

Thank you for your nomination (though I will never understand why you would nominate someone you've never met and know nothing about). But I would thank you even more if you would simply leave me alone.

Yours truly,
Scholar-Wannabe