In Which I Freak Out

Why the heck did I accept the invitation to be on a panel with the Giants of North Country? Didn’t I know that they’ve all been publishing on North Country since before I was born? How did I not realize that I would be 1) the only person on the panel without a Ph.D., 2) the only female, and 3) the only visible minority?

And I am thoroughly afraid of North Country’s Leading Archaeologist (who is, of course, on the panel). I was afraid of him when I saw him from afar at the last Annual Meeting of Big Society in San Diego. He’s easily six-foot-four-inches tall and very broad shouldered. If he sat on me, I would be seriously hurt. And after reading a very sharply-worded critique that Leading Archaeologist wrote of another North Country scholar, my knees have already started to knock. Nightmares are soon to follow, I’m sure.

It’s a twenty minute paper, which works out to a mere nine pages. But after writing seven pages, I’ve run out of things to say. And three of those pages are simply a summary of the other paper that I’m giving (this first paper had already been accepted for the program when I received the invitation to be on this panel and I presented something very similar at Small Society’s Annual Meeting in June). I’m really hoping that no one attends both of the papers that I’m giving ‘cause they’ll know right away that I’m plagiarizing myself.

What was I thinking when I accepted this invitation?!?

And now that I’ve had my freak-out, I shall attempt to write two more pages…