An Open Letter

To the attention of my immune system:

This is to inform you that I am completely aware of your current working situation.

I know that I give you caffeine instead of the nutrients that you actually need. Further, I know that you are compelled to spend two days a week in an environment jam-packed with bacteria and viruses. Finally, I know that for the past four-and-a-half years, you haven't received the sleep that you need to function properly. (What can I say? Finding time to sleep is hard!)

But here's the thing: I've got my last comp next Tuesday and I simply can't afford to be sick right now. So, if you could endure these working conditions until my comps are finished, I promise that I'll start treating you right: proper diet, endless hand-washing, and eight hours of sleep every night.

Just until next Tuesday, OK?

Sincerely, ScholarWannabe

In other words, my comp is next Tuesday, but I think I'm coming down with a bacterial infection. Yikes!